axolotl
Nunquam non paratus
My first marriage was ending. I had languished on the periphery of life and music for about nine years when this came out. Late at night, after the kids were in bed, I would tune in to MTV, among other things, and listen to what was new. This music hit me like a ton of bricks.
I heard "Jeremy" and "Alive" first. Then, I heard "Black." This became the theme song for the end of my marriage and my first real pass at major depression. "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life. I know you'll be a star, in somebody else's sky, but why, why, why can't it be mine?"
Late in 1992, I purchased the CD. The second half became as alive as the first, but the last several songs seemed to offer a resolution, or denouement, to the rage and fury felt in the earlier songs.
I stopped listening to it much, later in the 90s, as I grew happier and more content. But, as I listen to it end-to-end for the second time in two days, I notice that it still strikes a chord in me - one that I can call up in an instant. I do not experience the in-held rage that I used to; it's not good for my blood pressure.
I present it here, for your listening pleasure, or disappointment, or disgust. Have at it, Buckaroos.




on the Sam-O-Meter. But the backstory earns a solid
. 